Embrace Your Gifts and Soar!

I Will Finish!

It's a Saturday night in Chicago and I'm in bed with a bag of ice on my leg. I am thinking I will not be able to participate in the marathon because of a growing pain in my leg. Needless to say, I am totally bummed out.

On Sunday morning, the day of the marathon, I feel as if I am pretending that I am going to walk in a marathon. As my husband and I wait in a crowd of people for our turn to take off, I continue to have doubts that my leg will allow me to get very far.

Then, something happens in my mind that I cannot explain. We cross the start line and I know I have to go for it. I tell my leg to cooperate as I shove the pain away and focus on being present in the moment. I wish my husband luck as I start my pace and off I go.

Strangers enthusiastically send me cheers, encouragement, smiles and joy along the whole route. Friendly faces along the way offer me Gatorade and water that I gratefully accept. I spot a few teammates and we exchange encouraging words. Every dose of good energy from others keeps me going.

I want to finish! I mean I really want to finish. I'm going to finish! This is what I think about. I do not allow myself to dwell on the pain in my legs, back or feet. I'm going to finish. Again and again, I hear mySelf tell mySelf "I am going to finish!"

I turn that last corner and cast my eyes upon a big green and white banner that says Finish Line. At that moment, I am sure that banner is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. It's really happening! I see the finish line. Thank you God! It's almost over. I'm almost there. I step on the finish line and go into temporary shock. I did it! I really, really did it! Despite the obstacles and doubt, I made it to the finish line.

My time is 6:57:33. Seven hours of heavy duty walking for the sake of reaching a goal I set for myself in January. What is the reward? A stronger knowing that I can do anything I set my mind to, new friends, an adventurous experience and many warm memories.

Here is what I know. I would not have been able to have walked 26.2 miles in 6 hours, fifty seven minutes and thirty three seconds without help. I am filled with gratitude for my husband, family, friends, teammates, Mark and Robin Simpson of Marathon Makeover and all of the spectators and volunteers that made my completion of the LaSalle Bank Chicago Marathon possible.

Yes, I can do anything I set my mind to and also, I am strengthened by God and those around me. Having loads of support is what made this victory possible. Not only am I reminded of the power of the mind, I am also reminded that seeking help and support from others brings empowerment and greater success.

Some say asking for help is a sign of weakness. Don't buy it.  Asking for and accepting help will take you further than you ever dreamed you could go. I've seen this demonstrated in my life over and over.

A victory shared with others is much sweeter than a victory that is experienced alone.

Onward!

Beverly    

                         

Greg and Beverly - marathoners!

                                 

Chasing Butterflies

Last January, my husband and I signed up with Marathon Makeover 2006 to train for the LaSalle Bank Chicago Marathon. Now, the big day, October 22,  is just around the corner. Yesterday, as I felt the familiar pain in my right leg, I told my husband that it must be from my pre psychosomatic stress and marathon anxiety disorder. We both laughed. A lot!

When I think about this marathon, the butterflies do loopty loops in my stomach. I didn't expect this. Why do I feel jittery and nervous?

1) Maybe it is because my leg is not at 100%. The doctor calls it IT Band Syndrome. I call it a pain that keeps coming back and is with me now. Because of this pain, I can not run or jog. Fortunately, with the help of an Ace knee brace and a Patt Strap, I can walk very fast. Can I walk a fast pace for 26.2 miles? Uh, I will let you know next week.

2) The people! There are 40,000 people registered to participate in this marathon. That's a lot of folks. Who knows how many spectators will be there? Crowds make me a little crazy. All I can say is thank goodness this will be outdoors!

3) Here is the biggie. I don't want to fail. Ok, there you have it. The real, honest reason I feel jittery. I've already accepted the disappointment of not being able to jog or run in this marathon. Now, what if I can not go the whole distance? I am at risk for feeling the disappointment that comes from feeling like a failure.

I've heard the pep talks. Everyone who tries is a winner! There is a part of my brain that loves that perspective. Also, I know that it is going to sting a lot if I do not experience the joy of stepping across that finish line.

So, why put myself through all of this? Ten months of training, anxiety, physical pain and uncertainty? I just want to see how it goes. Yes, I might have to be with failure and maybe I will surprise myself. Maybe I will show myself I can do this. Possibly, I'll only walk half of the marathon and that would be okay too. I will look at this as an adventure with no guaranteed outcome.

There is something about being yanked out of my comfort zone that appeals to me. (I will take that in limited doses please!) Anytime I spread my wings and fly into a new area, I know that personal growth is sure to happen. Keeping myself on a path of growth is what makes me feel alive. It is more important for me to grow than it is to feel comfortable all of the time.

So, here I go. Time to chase some butterflies and embrace the loopty loops!

Here is my perspective for this event. I will do the best that I can and toss out the desire for perfection. It will be a fun and adventurous experience. With each step I take, I will remind myself that I am once again walking through fear and going for something that feels just beyond my reach. There will be a reason to celebrate on Sunday and I plan to!

Stay tuned for a follow up. I will let you  know how it goes!

Onward!

Beverly