Embrace Your Gifts and Soar!

Lesson Learned...Again!

Snow surrounds me and the multi-layers of ski clothing that I am wearing are not completely protecting me from the strong chill of the wind. As I sail up the mountain on a ski lift that I have never ridden before, I have to wonder why I do things like this to myself. This mountain is new to me and the peak is being hugged by far away clouds. I look at the slopes and fear grips my heart. I say to my husband, "Greg, are you sure we will be going down a blue run? I’m getting scared!" Greg assures me that we will ski down a blue, which is what the intermediate slopes are called.

It’s taken me five years to graduate from the greens, also known as beginner slopes, and move toward the blues. Perhaps I was a little too sure of myself though. Why didn’t I just stay on the easy blues? Why did I feel compelled to push myself over to the more difficult blue runs? My thoughts rattle on and I let them take over. Looking back, I have to wonder why I didn’t stop my negative thoughts and assure mySelf that I was ready for this new run.

As Greg and I begin our trip down this new slope, it is not so bad at first. I am unsteady at times but able to maintain enough balance to stay upright. I know that eventually the blue will turn into a green and then I can relax. Then, it happens. I reach a part of the slope that seems to drop straight down. Oh dear, what do I do? I know that if I fall it will be really tough to get up on a hill like this.

I pause and study the hill. Nothing I think about makes it look smaller or easier. I watch some four-year-old kids go down this hill like there is nothing to it. I know that they don’t have as far to fall and their bones heal faster than mine do, but they still inspire me. If kids can do this, so can I!

I point my skis toward the slope and begin my journey downward. Greg is waiting for me below so I’m on my own. Swoosh, swoosh, swoosh....KERPLUNK! I’m down and I am certain I can’t get up so I barely try. Here is the embarrassing part. I allow my rear end to slowly scooch down the hill and my skis are still on my feet so I’m dragging them along with me. I’m praying that no one will come flying over the hill and crash into me. I want to disappear and I hate skiing! I wish I had a sled so I could coast down this steep hill and be done with it. I stop and rest. It feels as if I will never reach safety again.

Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a man appears. "Are you alright?" I tell him, "yes, I’m alright. I’m just worn out and I can’t get up." He lifts me up as if I am a feather and I am standing on my skis again. He gives me good advice. "Just stay here for a minute and rest. Let your body recover." I am happy to do that. I thank him profusely and after a few minutes I tell him that I am ready to go. Fortunately, I ski down the rest of that steep slope with ease and finally, my ordeal has ended.

Later, I think about this experience and it dawns on my that I never once considered asking anyone for help. I felt that I got myself into this situation and so I had to save myself. Slowly sliding down the hill on my rear end while wearing skis was not the best solution to my predicament. However, I thought I was taking care of myself.

Well, I have to say, it is stupid to NOT ask for help when you need help. It makes much more sense to immediately hope, pray and ask for help when you are scared, exhausted, overwhelmed, stuck or lonely. My crisis came to an abrupt end because of my willingness to accept someone's help.

I wonder if I will ever get past playing the role of strong, independent woman who does not need help? I’ve worked on this issue so much and yet still there is a part of me that often chooses to go it alone. Having this revelation, again, makes me glad I took that fall and sat on that mountain alone until someone rescued me. Yes, I would have eventually made it down that hill on my own, but having a helping hand made the ending to my story much sweeter.

Will I go skiing again? Yes! I love staying fully present when I am skiing down the side of a mountain. I am completely in my body and totally alive in the moment. While I do love being surrounded by snow and beauty, I have to say I am a southern belle who is not a big fan of cold weather. Even so, that is not enough to keep me away from the snow covered mountains. Feeling fully present in any situation is one of the things that gives life meaning for me. So, yes, I will go back to that slope with the scary hill on it, and next year, I’ll conquer it...and if I don’t, I will not hesitate to ask someone nearby to help me get back on my feet again.

How much do you ask for help in your life? What holds you back from asking for help? What makes it easy for you to ask for help? 

More ski stories

Never Too Late

Dream and Believe

Comfort Zone, Where Are You?

Nate and I are standing in a long, slow moving line of people under the hot sun at Geyser Falls Water Theme Park in Choctaw, Mississippi. I am trying to be brave for Nate, my seven-year-old nephew, so I do not examine the BackSplash too closely. Nate is only willing to go down this waterslide if I go with him. 

We almost reach the top platform and Nate says, "I changed my mind. I don’t want to do this." Part of me wants to say "Yea! Let’s get out of here!" but a louder part of me says, "Aw, come on Nate, we’ve been standing in line so long. Let’s go for it!" Nate hesitates, smiles at me and says, "Okay, I’ll do it."

When our turn comes, Nate and I snuggle into our yellow tube and tightly grip the blue handles on each side. The boy supervising the slide tells Nate to cross his ankles. I want to shout out "No Nate, don’t do that. It will make us go faster!" but I keep my mouth shut because my growing fear impairs my ability to speak.

We push away from the starting place and begin a typical waterslide experience through a tunnel. So far, so good. We laugh and scream for fun. Suddenly, we speed up and plummet straight down. I’m holding on for dear life while screaming my head off for real now. I have no idea how Nate is coping. I’m just so glad that he is in front and I have don’t have to see what might be coming next!

After we plunge down, we go straight up a steep ramp. My eyes get five times larger as it appears that we are going to sail over the top edge of the ramp. I’m saying something like "Oh my gosh, Nate, Oh my gosh!" as I wonder if we will survive this crazy waterslide. Thankfully, gravity pulls us back to the center of the ramp but we are going backwards at a high speed. I can not see what is behind us and I’m sure I don’t want to know. We go backwards down a small waterfall and finally it’s over. Nate is screaming "That was Awesome!" while I’m shaking like a scared puppy. We both agree the BackSplash waterslide was big time scary in an awesome kind of way.

We find a snack bar, order cookies and drinks, sit down at a table and munch away. It takes me about 30 minutes to stop feeling shaky. Next, I gladly go to the Creaky Leaky Water Factory where the only thing I have to worry about is a gigantic bucket of water falling on my head.

Today, as I think about that whole experience, I smile, giggle and pat myself on the back for being so brave. There truly are rewards to going outside of your comfort zone. And the truth is, I’d be willing to go down that slide again. It really was fun!

There are all kinds of different ways to go outside of your comfort zone. Have you been out of your comfort zone lately? What did you do? What were the rewards?

Here's to a fun summer!

Beverly

BackSplash! - The first waterslide of it's kind in America. Bring your friend and grab a two person tube for this backwards waterslide. First you zip through the tunnel, but watch out because it is an exciting drop into the ramp before you travel backwards into the splash pool. It's a roller coaster and waterslide all rolled into one! (from http://www.geyserfalls.com/)

Win-Wins

Left photo: Banjo says.."this scratching post is mine!"

Right photo: Jingo says, "What did I do wrong? I'm cute and innocent!"

Banjo had a life long cat companion until this past summer. I felt she was lonely for another cat companion. Possibly, I was projecting my only feelings of loss onto her. Our house just didn't feel right without the pitter patter of eight kitty cat paws running around. (see http://embraceyourgifts.typepad.com/blog/2006/09/saying_goodbye.html)

So, Jingo came to live with us the day before Thanksgiving. She was coated with black grease and abandoned around age 5 weeks. Someone found her and turned her into the local animal shelter. My husband and I took her in.

Banjo has not been too happy about Jingo's arrival. Banjo  hisses, growls and sulks whenever Jingo is close by. Fortuantely, Jingo continues to be submissive and does not take Banjo's harshness too seriously.

Truth be told, we are making progress. The two kitties are slowly moving into playfully chasing each other around the house. I am glad to see this transition happening. It seems that now all of us are entering into a win-win situation.

As I watched Banjo sulk and spew out her venom, I wished she could have known how her fear of being replaced was working against her and the rest of us. The energy created by her hostility was not too pleasant to live in!

I think that often, we humans do the same thing. We feel threatened or fearful for some reason, so we react in a negative way to a situation or person. In the long run, the lack of harmony and open-mindedness makes things harder for everyone.

When I notice a fearful feeling arising in me, I often ask myself, "How can I turn this into a win-win situation for myself and those around me?" This perspective often shifts my fear into an open place of looking at possibilities for positive outcomes for everyone involved, including myself. This perspective has a way of producing greater flow and joy as it shifts me away from focusing on scarcity and other negative thoughts.

We are hoping that  Banjo and Jingo will be best of buddies by Christmas. That is the intention that my husband set and I decided it's a darn good one. Hopefully, I will soon be able to post a photo of the two of them snuggled up together, taking a cozy cat nap. That would definitely be a win-win for everyone who lives in this house.

Here's to Win-Wins!

Cheers!

Beverly

Chasing Butterflies

Last January, my husband and I signed up with Marathon Makeover 2006 to train for the LaSalle Bank Chicago Marathon. Now, the big day, October 22,  is just around the corner. Yesterday, as I felt the familiar pain in my right leg, I told my husband that it must be from my pre psychosomatic stress and marathon anxiety disorder. We both laughed. A lot!

When I think about this marathon, the butterflies do loopty loops in my stomach. I didn't expect this. Why do I feel jittery and nervous?

1) Maybe it is because my leg is not at 100%. The doctor calls it IT Band Syndrome. I call it a pain that keeps coming back and is with me now. Because of this pain, I can not run or jog. Fortunately, with the help of an Ace knee brace and a Patt Strap, I can walk very fast. Can I walk a fast pace for 26.2 miles? Uh, I will let you know next week.

2) The people! There are 40,000 people registered to participate in this marathon. That's a lot of folks. Who knows how many spectators will be there? Crowds make me a little crazy. All I can say is thank goodness this will be outdoors!

3) Here is the biggie. I don't want to fail. Ok, there you have it. The real, honest reason I feel jittery. I've already accepted the disappointment of not being able to jog or run in this marathon. Now, what if I can not go the whole distance? I am at risk for feeling the disappointment that comes from feeling like a failure.

I've heard the pep talks. Everyone who tries is a winner! There is a part of my brain that loves that perspective. Also, I know that it is going to sting a lot if I do not experience the joy of stepping across that finish line.

So, why put myself through all of this? Ten months of training, anxiety, physical pain and uncertainty? I just want to see how it goes. Yes, I might have to be with failure and maybe I will surprise myself. Maybe I will show myself I can do this. Possibly, I'll only walk half of the marathon and that would be okay too. I will look at this as an adventure with no guaranteed outcome.

There is something about being yanked out of my comfort zone that appeals to me. (I will take that in limited doses please!) Anytime I spread my wings and fly into a new area, I know that personal growth is sure to happen. Keeping myself on a path of growth is what makes me feel alive. It is more important for me to grow than it is to feel comfortable all of the time.

So, here I go. Time to chase some butterflies and embrace the loopty loops!

Here is my perspective for this event. I will do the best that I can and toss out the desire for perfection. It will be a fun and adventurous experience. With each step I take, I will remind myself that I am once again walking through fear and going for something that feels just beyond my reach. There will be a reason to celebrate on Sunday and I plan to!

Stay tuned for a follow up. I will let you  know how it goes!

Onward!

Beverly

Overcoming Fear

August 2005 - Embrace Your Gifts and Soar!

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Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do not let your fears choose your destiny. ~Author Unknown
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Overcoming Fear

I had a deep yearning to feel like a kid again so I invited two of my nephews to join me for a day of fun at a nearby waterpark. Even though they had never been to a waterpark, they enthusiastically accepted my invitation and immediately decided that it was going to be tons of fun.

Once we arrived at the park, my nephews told me they would not be going down the big slides. They preferred to stay in the wave pool and the kiddie pool. I went along with this for a while. I had to wonder what those huge water slides looked like through the eyes of little people. I understood that it looked a bit scary and yet, I was eager for them to know how much fun it is to go down those slides.

Eventually, I was able to coax them into agreeing to go down a super slide. The closer we got to the slide, the more I saw fear come to life. As we climbed the stairs, I tried to make good use of my coaching skills as I encouraged them and acknowledged their bravery. Despite my best effort, a few tears began to fall as their fears became more intense. One of them said, “BB, why are you making us do this?” and I began to question my determination to see them go down the slide. Repeatedly, I promised them that going down the slide would be fun and safe while also telling them that if they really didn’t want to, they didn’t have to.

Finally, my youngest nephew agreed to slide down with me. He sat right in front of me and off we went. We screamed and laughed all the way down the slide before we made a splashy landing in a shallow pool of water. My oldest nephew could not be outdone by his younger brother. Despite being deathly afraid, he went down the slide by himself. In the blink of an eye, that slide went from being their worst nightmare to becoming “the funnest thing ever!”

Weeks later, during our second trip to the waterpark, the kids went directly to the big slides and had no interest in visiting the kiddie section. Their ability to walk through short lived fears opened up a whole new experience of the waterpark. This time around, they were pros.

I marveled at their courage and the payoff. Over and over, they told me how much fun it was to go down those slides and thanked me for bringing them to the waterpark. Their smiling faces and eagerness to climb countless stairs told me that this was for real. They were having a blast. The reward for overcoming fear was huge in the lives of a five and eight year old.

Sometimes I wonder if we realize what fear might be cheating us out of. It is so easy to stay in our comfort zones and not take the real or imagined risk that we might be facing. If there is an area in your life where fear is getting in your way, I invite you to dream about how your life might be different if you stop allowing fear to paralyze you.

What can you gain by walking through the fears that might be holding you back?

Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears. ~Rudyard Kipling